I wanna be AWAKE!!!

I duno..
i dun like the bad habit..but i think..my mind is telling me that actually im not exactly oppose it at all!! or him..
how come??
i think im sot jor..really sot ady
I know..
my heart will tell me the truth and it is telling me the truth now..
pounding fast
I juz wan to deny and ignore it
coz i noe..dreams will not come true..

PLEASE
let me awake please..
can somebody wake me up??
push me or knock my head....